The weekend is coming to an end. I have spent most of my time working in the yard cleaning up leaves, errant weeds and cleaning the gutters. The sun was out briefly today, just enough to notice the layer of dust on all the furniture.. I took the Porsche out for a spin instead, nothing like 110mph to clear the cobwebs out and bring you very quickly into the moment.. A long and deserted stretch of roadway not far from home over by my office/shop. No driveways and plenty of visibility, I do not want to spend the holidays in an orange jump suit picking up trash along our highways.
Zac and I joined Kathy, Tom, Betty, Duane, Debbie and Bill for an early Thanksgiving dinner, a pleasant time although subdued. Jack has about a 3-4 hour window where I feel comfortable leaving him home alone without dealing with any "accidents", he did fine as usual.
I had received a very gracious invitation to join the Senders family at their Thanksgiving meal later in the evening, we joined them at Angela and Jorges (Niece) around 7:30, was thankful for being included in their family event and had a wonderful time with all of them. These folks were part of her extended family while married to Richard.
Part of the weekend was spent sorting through photographs from the last several years, I chose several dozen to print out, frame and hang on the dining room wall Only a few do not have Pam in it. Upper right one was taken from my dinghy at Reid harbor in the San Juans of Milagro sitting at anchor in an incredible setting, Pam was to come up and join me for several weeks, that changed with the diagnosis.
It became easier to do the more photos I put up. The best of the best of our lives togeather for the last two years.
I have finally moved Pamela's suitcase out of the bedroom where she left it from our trip to the beach in August, I tried to unpack it several weeks ago but just could not do it. She was notorious for taking forever to unpack and it would sit for weeks. I moved it into her mediation/sewing room along with a couple portable closets she had in the garage, another project: organize the garage and believe it or not I can park the Subaru or Porsche in there now.
Evenings are still very painful, I force myself to leave work and come home. Jack is excited to be back home and it rubs off a little. I have started to complete the trim in the re-modeled bathroom, though slow as I have stayed away from my power tools (table saw etc) for fear that I may lose focus then a finger. (I know I know I drove real fast though) My comfort level is coming up and I will proceed with the scary parts.
Friday night I joined Louise and Don at Jimmie Macks (jazz club) chatted and listened to a set. I enjoyed myself and for an hour the pain was not so crushing.
I am thinking I will have small dinner parties with a few friends like we used to do. I am moving out of a very remote state of mind I hope. So if anyone is inclined please feel free to call or email, I would love to hear from folks.
I'm on facebook now for you folks that use it.
Here is the new photo wall: a tribute really. Well it's up top now.
Ben
