Memorial Date

Pamela's memorial:
Saturday 10:00 am April, 23rd. 2011
I will post the address soon.

Come see Mariah play

My niece Mariah is in town over the holidays from Nashville, she will be playing this Saturday night @7:30pm at the Hawthrone Theatre on 39th and SE. Hawthrone. Come join us!

The new year

The holidays swept in suddenly and have passed just as quickly. More like a trial by fire. The highlights: Zac spent christmas eve. at home, Billy and Teal were here christmas morning after being with the Senders family, everything was as years past. I made German Pancakes in the oven that is quickly losing its capacity to bake..the circuit board /chip is malfunctioning.

Later we all went over to Betty and Duane's for christmas dinner with the rest of the family. Pam's sweaters that she had knitted for her sisters and nieces were opened with tears. Becky recieved a wonderful scarf and wore it the whole evening.

I took down the tree and stored the decorations on Sunday.

New Years was spent quietly here at home with Jack. Several long walks. Bill and Debbie came by later after a movie and we sat chatting as the new year rolled in. Another attempt at baking in the rapidly expiring oven making my moms Mountain Pie.

David Pia and Axel spent their first Christmas at their home in Boulder, they were missed.

I was shocked to see the cost of decent gas ranges, well, the ones I looked at started at 2500.00 all the way up to 4800.00. Dacor & Wulf. The repair equals the original cost of range for the old one, not quite worth it.

Tomorrow it's back to work, hopefully preliminary hardscape will have been completed so we can finally sink our teeth into this project.

All and all the holidays were very flat for me, I'm glad it's over.

On a more positive note for all you folks that sent cards thank you! those are still hanging on the kitchen door.

I do hope that this year things get better for everyone.

Ben

For all of you who have been on the Christmas mailing list, I finished this years last night. It was the first time for me at the keyboard writing it. Only one error that I found after printing 2/3 of them (Well that I could find) probably a few more errors but oh well.
My task in years past was to read the proof and maybe add something, or clarify then helped with the folding stamping etc. I think it came out okay though.
Last week during the worst of the rains Zac, Billy and I went out at 3:30 almost dark and got our Christmas tree. They were aghast that I had considered not even having one.
Usually we have a ton of cards and letters by now, I have six hanging on the kitchen door.. I have a feeling that a lot of the people have either not sent them this year or eliminated us (me) from their lists. A depressing thought. A difficult time as I'm wrapping all the gifts that Pam had already purchased or made for Axel and the family members, I did find a list of possible items to dig out of boxes for the boys from their childhood like we did last year. So many things that Pam loved to do and me too, but now it is all up to me and sometimes I just don't feel up to it. The Christmas letter was a big hurdle and I'm glad I was able to finish it. Jesus I'm starting to sound like that donkey in Winnie the Pooh.
Work has been Okay we just started a big project which will be a real showpiece when completed. I have sold more engines this year than ever before so that has been good (Oregon Dealer for Beta Marine diesels for sailboats) I've been doing that for nine years now. Oregon Marine Industries is the name of my business, how I got that was interesting, I was upset about something I forget what, but I said to myself Oh am I pissed. Somewhere in the synapses it clicked Oregon Marine Industries...go figure. The upset was gone and I was on my way.
Take care for now

Sunday evening

The weekend is coming to an end. I have spent most of my time working in the yard cleaning up leaves, errant weeds and cleaning the gutters. The sun was out briefly today, just enough to notice the layer of dust on all the furniture.. I took the Porsche out for a spin instead, nothing like 110mph to clear the cobwebs out and bring you very quickly into the moment.. A long and deserted stretch of roadway not far from home over by my office/shop. No driveways and plenty of visibility, I do not want to spend the holidays in an orange jump suit picking up trash along our highways.

Zac and I joined Kathy, Tom, Betty, Duane, Debbie and Bill for an early Thanksgiving dinner, a pleasant time although subdued. Jack has about a 3-4 hour window where I feel comfortable leaving him home alone without dealing with any "accidents", he did fine as usual.

I had received a very gracious invitation to join the Senders family at their Thanksgiving meal later in the evening, we joined them at Angela and Jorges (Niece) around 7:30, was thankful for being included in their family event and had a wonderful time with all of them. These folks were part of her extended family while married to Richard.

Part of the weekend was spent sorting through photographs from the last several years, I chose several dozen to print out, frame and hang on the dining room wall Only a few do not have Pam in it. Upper right one was taken from my dinghy at Reid harbor in the San Juans of Milagro sitting at anchor in an incredible setting, Pam was to come up and join me for several weeks, that changed with the diagnosis.

It became easier to do the more photos I put up. The best of the best of our lives togeather for the last two years.

I have finally moved Pamela's suitcase out of the bedroom where she left it from our trip to the beach in August, I tried to unpack it several weeks ago but just could not do it. She was notorious for taking forever to unpack and it would sit for weeks. I moved it into her mediation/sewing room along with a couple portable closets she had in the garage, another project: organize the garage and believe it or not I can park the Subaru or Porsche in there now.

Evenings are still very painful, I force myself to leave work and come home. Jack is excited to be back home and it rubs off a little. I have started to complete the trim in the re-modeled bathroom, though slow as I have stayed away from my power tools (table saw etc) for fear that I may lose focus then a finger. (I know I know I drove real fast though) My comfort level is coming up and I will proceed with the scary parts.

Friday night I joined Louise and Don at Jimmie Macks (jazz club) chatted and listened to a set. I enjoyed myself and for an hour the pain was not so crushing.

I am thinking I will have small dinner parties with a few friends like we used to do. I am moving out of a very remote state of mind I hope. So if anyone is inclined please feel free to call or email, I would love to hear from folks.

I'm on facebook now for you folks that use it.

Here is the new photo wall: a tribute really. Well it's up top now.

Ben

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday.
Ben

For you folks that did not get a chance to see Pamela's obituary you may see it online and please sign the guest book as I will print it.
Go to:
http://obits.oregonlive.com/obituaries/oregon/obituary.aspx?n=pamela-senders-thomas&pid=146179753

It will be up until the 23rd of November 2011
Ben