Most of you know now of the results of the CT scan I had on Tuesday. Ben and Billy went to my appointment with the oncologist Wednesday morning. The scan showed a mass forming at the site of the resection, as well as two small growths in a lung. What you might not have known is that I had been experiencing more frequent and persistent, though mild, pain in my abdomen. I really became concerned when it began to awaken me in the middle of the night. It felt like intense hunger pains so I would get up and eat, feeling some relief. Because of the pain, my appetite had begun to wane a bit, and I lost the few pounds I had gained. This led to a visit with the doctor and the subsequent scan. In the same week, I experienced severe chest pain, went by  ambulance to the emergency room, and eventually ruled out heart attack. Apparently this pain, which I had had before, was esophageal spasm. It hurts like a heart attack. So the past few weeks I have been increasingly uncomfortable and anxious. Needless to say, my anxiety was not relieved by the recurrence of the cancer. I imagine we will have a treatment plan by the end of this coming week, some form of chemotherapy. 


The pain medication I have started to take is helping a lot. In fact it is strange how good I have felt the last few days. I am eating more and feel pretty energetic, probably fueled in part by anxiety and a sense that I have a lot to get done, and a lot I want to do. I am usually keeping a pretty calm, sometimes joyous, state. Thursday I worked in my rose garden in the morning for several hours, then went with Ben and Jack to the dog park. It was sooo hot! In the afternoon, my mother, and then friends visited. I talked to a variety of people, made lists of things I needed to do. Friday I went to yoga and visited with good friends after class. Then I went out to lunch with my Senders nieces, and Billy. Later Billy hung out here and then Ben joined us. It's been nice. This is how I want to spend the rest of my life. 


Today I had a learning moment, which I think some of you who know me to be competitive will find amusing, and not too surprising. This morning in yoga, my competitive spirit, and a will to be strong, kicked in as we did a rather unusual piece. The teacher had us race across the room on our stomachs on blankets pulling ourselves with our hands, as in cobra. I figured I had an edge with muscle memory from years of paddling and my light weight. And I WAS among the lead, until I hit the wall 3/4 of the way across, so to speak. I  tagged my partner and he returned across the floor and we actually finished first. Big deal right?  How crazy. Guess I have a lot yet to learn about ego; need to have a little more time here to learn that, I think. I paid for this poor choice by being entirely spent, hard to get myself home and back into bed for a few hours rest. After a quiet afternoon, Ben and I went to a music concert, so wonderful and exhilarating. And now after midnight, I am still typing. The days are just not long enough. Is this another lesson I need to learn, to not try to fit so much into one day, to let it go and go to bed? OK I will. Night  night.

I thought you might enjoy seeing a few pictures from our garden. This yellow rose is my favorite, Graham Thomas of the Austin roses.

Isn't this a pretty and unusual bloom, an abutulon in a pot on our patio.

A view of the patio looking across a corner of the yard. The large frond plant is a tetrapanex.

Yesterday I went to the World Beat festival in Salem to dance with my team, the Wild Rose Garland dancers. I think it was one of our best performances. Thank goodness this year the weather was not too hot. Today, my body demanded rest and I spent a lot of it in bed. By late afternoon/evening, I decided to move outside and perked up weeding slowly in the flower beds. Ben made a great BBQ, after which we strolled through the neighborhood with Jack. After a hot day, we enjoyed the cool evening breeze.

The most newsworthy item is that here in Portland, we have had enough sun the last few days to permit some gardening and strawberry picking. Leslie and I went to an organic farm on Sauvies Island Tuesday and picked nearly 20 # each. Last night, Ben and I made 2 batches of freezer jam. I sliced and froze the remainder, saving some for shortcake with the boys tonight. Ahh summer...

Soon I will post photos of the newly finished wood floor in the sewing/yoga/meditation room and the blue tiled bathroom. Both look lovely.

Later.

I had a great weekend at the beach with my sister Debbie and mother and 9 more ladies from First Christian Church. We stayed in a large home on a cliff above the beach in Lincoln City. While I was away, the boys spent some time on Milagro. See Captain Jack at the helm.

Last weekend, Jack, Ben, and I joined Debbie, Bill, and Sadie at Tierra del Mar, at the Dignan's home where we have been vacationing now for over 20 years. 

For such a frisky little pup, Jack also spends a lot of time napping and snuggling.

At nearly 10#, he barely fits in his little bed.

Here he is after some romping on the beach and playing with Cousin Sadie.

Back in Portland, Jack was very excited to see and hear himself in video.

Hey - I am pleased to report that I seem to have gained weight. I am now 104.5#. I'm on track for the minimum weight gain that my oncologist wanted to see by my next visit, in about 6 weeks.

I arrived in Portland after midnight Tuesday night. Wednesday I recouped, went to a couple appointments I had had to reschedule, and started laundry and packing for this weekend. Ben and I are now in Pacific City using the internet connection of a little espresso bar. I had been dreaming of the flaky biscuits at the Grateful Bread bakery restaurant ever since we had decided to come here. my expectations were well met this morning. Yum.
I had forgotten to take my camera cable to Manzanillo so couldn't post photos when I was there. Here are a few pictures from my trip. I haven't figured out how to place photos and text where I want to on the blog. The first is my first view of the ocean from Phyllis' deck. The next is the view from my loft room.

This is the beach club in Santiago.

Some pretty flowers on the terrace at la Recif in the condo village of Vida del Mar.

The next several shots are a sampling of the beautiful flowers on Vida.

The gardener brought Phyllis a coconut to drink each morning.

Phyllis and I had lunch at the beach club.