Sorry about the empty video frames. We couldn't figure out how to upload them onto my MacBook. Maybe later.

Here are some still shots of this suite at Ecola Creek Lodge. We are loving it.

 Jack continues to nap as I write and Ben snores on the futon nearby.

 Jack likes to lick our wet feet!

We have the corner suite looking out into this lovely garden with cascading pools into a koi pond and this sunny deck

. I love montbretia (crocosmia).

Today we rose leisurely and had time for breakfast and a yoga class in Tolovana. There, I learned of a yoga workshop happening August 28-29, $200, that I think I will return to take. I don't remember the name of the yoga instructor coming to lead the workshop, from London with a world class reputation, according to Christen the local instructor. She was wonderful herself, and the energy in the class this morning with just five of us was nurturing, which I needed. Info is posted on the local instructor's website: cannonbeachyogaarts.com. Anyone else interested? At this moment there is a studio available at the Ecola Creek Lodge that has two queens, $132 a night, no kitchen. We could look into something else or maybe someone has a house or connections for a house?

After yoga, Ben and I went to our favorite bakery-espresso joint, Waves of Grain. Later a short stroll to exercise Jack, then taco lunch at 'home.' Billy stopped by with a friend on their way to surf at Indian Beach. We look forward to sharing dinner with them later.

Our Suite at Ecola Creek Lodge

Here are videos of the Ecola Creek Lodge suite and part of our day at Cape Kiwanda, after we hiked up and back down the dune. Hope you find them as amusing as we do.
















By the way, some of you may want to view Pia and Dave's blog to keep up with the baby's development: http://thedaveandpiashow.blogspot.com/. Thank you to all who are joining us in our 40 day meditation for the baby, and sending prayers and warm thoughts their way. Also, I have to brag: I made the wedding dress you see Pia wearing in the opening photo with Dave at the beach. There's a story there I may tell some day.

We had a fantastic two days at Tierra Del Mar with Debbie, Bill, and niece Kara from Tennessee, and my mom. The days started with low clouds that broke by noon to bright skies and light breezes. 

It was a delight spending time with Kara. Kara is on summer break before her last year of nursing school in Tennessee. She will be a gift to the medical profession and all whom she treats. She's a help and a joy to me. As I have written before, I am blessed with many wonderful nieces and three fine nephews, each so very different from one another, with different gifts and charms. Don't you love Kara's fashion style? We had fun inspecting some interesting jewelry in town, with the plan to replicate some pieces. I hadn't realized how many interests and idiosyncracies we shared. 

 A study in black and white, Debbie with daughter Kara, Cape Kiwanda dune and stack in the distance. 

The pups had a rompous time on the beach, and in the house. What a difference between a spaniel and a terrier when it comes to water and retrieving. Jack has no interest in either, but Sadie...!

Today we climbed the short end of the dune for a panoramic view of the ocean and the small cove beaches at the base of the cape. When we figure out how to upload the video we shot, you can see for yourself the beauty of the place.

After a leisurely morning at the breakfast table eating Debbie's waffles and the afternoon at the cape and feasting on burgers at the Pelican Pub, Ben, Jack and I headed north to Cannon Beach, where we are now in the Ecola Creek Lodge. I love this place and this suite of rooms in particular. Again, when we upload the video, you can share in the charm of this place. We are sitting in a knotty pine paneled living room beside a brick gas fireplace at a round wood table. Earlier we dined on New Season's skirt steaks (double yum) looking out our window over a koi pond in the garden. I strongly recommend this lodging. Tomorrow, if we wake early enough, I will check out a vinyasa yoga class in the Tolovana Hall, wherever that is; nearby I presume. Ben has plans for coffee and Tillamook cheesy biscuits at Waves of Grain bakery in Tolovana, the prime culinary attraction for us here. Billy may be surfing at Indian Beach in Ecola Park tomorrow and we will join him there. We are hoping he will spend the night on the futon in our suite. Zac is busy this weekend competing in a marathon of events with kickball friends. Being a natural athlete, we have high hopes he will take the gold. Unfortunately, this prevents him from joining us for the weekend. 

Here's a recipe for a smoothie to help you gain weight. I hope it works for me. It sure tasted good, and made about 18 oz.

- 1 banana

- 1 cup frozen berries

- 1/2 mango

- 3/4 c mixed juices

- 1/2 bottle (3 oz?) Ensure

- 1/4 c coconut cream milk

- 2 T green powder (fruits and veggies)

- 4 T whey protein powder

Thought you might like to see the Callas girls: Debbie Hood, Becky Scleicher, Betty Hesketh, Kathy Callas, and me.

Today I didn't feel so good upon waking so I slept through yoga, which I hate to miss, as well as my good friends at yoga. But by 11:00 I was feeling better. I went to my 11:30 appointment, then to Elephant's to pick up a deli lunch and off to meet my SLP friend of 30 years, Debbie Haroun, at the Japanese Garden. Does anyone else find the gift stores in nice parks and museums as enticing as I do? I found exquisite sculptured napkin rings and a beautiful celludon (How do you spell it?) lotus bowl for inspiration in my meditation room. Yes, the garden was as peaceful and graceful as always. We sat in a quiet place and listened to the water feature, sharing our thoughts on life and death and our experiences with cancer and other life challenges and joys. Debbie's been my model for a long time now, ever since she was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer years ago. What a woman she is, with a passion for life that knows no limits, so it seems.

Tomorrow we are driving to Tierra del Mar to join sister Debbie and Bill for a couple days then move north to Cannon Beach for the weekend. I am so eager to go that my bags have been packed for two days.

I hope wherever each of you is, that you have enjoyed this gloriously fresh day.

Pamela

Belinda Kegg Reagan and Clown (Polly Waller)

Polly was delighted to inherit my tap shoes. 

Pam, Joann Hardy (my HS dance partner), and Polly Waller, all best friends as far back as first grade at old Sylvan School.

Can you tell we had a great time reminiscing and laughing. We plan to continue meetingand maintain these old bonds.

Later in the afternoon, my good friend Leslie Dale came over. Jack immediately curled up next to her .

The final photo here is of our Patriot Hostas. This year their blooms are spectacular. 

I am fading fast here and having a hard time navigating where I want on this blog. I just wanted briefly to make a medical update: After a week of oral chemo and the initial infusion, I had lost weight, down to 95#, and had an increase in bowel issues. So the doctor had me discontinue the oral chemo until things were under better control. And now they are (only 4-6 poops a day!) and I just restarted the oral meds. I also took my usual cocktail of other drugs and am feeling a bit loopy. So it's time to sign off. 

Later, Pamela

Hondo Dog Park Gang - Hanging with the Small Dogs

Take a look at some of Jack's buds at the dog park. 

We are having fun watching all the dogs romp and getting to know the different dog and people personalities. After the park, we joined liz and John Etter for breakfast at Grand Central in Sellwood. It's a fine day.

Unforgettable....
That was one of the pieces the combo played after the wedding as the couples danced, and that was my thought again this morning about the whole evening. We went to the wedding of Leslie Taylor and James Vanden Bos at Leslie's grandma Jane Kendall's home. What a beautiful garden setting on the sloping lawn under huge old maples and beech trees. The guests were seated in rows of white chairs. The young women each had selected a different style of dress cut from the same burgundy cloth and were individually lovely. They had clearly gone to the same hairdresser who had done magic with their hair, each a different natural shade. Bride Leslie was especially beautiful in ivory skimming the curves of her body and her strawberry blonde hair coils piled above her beaming freckled face.

This is how I have always pictured her from the time I first met her at age five when we moved in across Lowell Street from the Taylors: an engaging smile on an adorable freckled face framed with straight cropped strawberry blond hair.  For the next 4 years, I think, Billy and Leslie were in the same grade school classes at Bridlemile. They and their brothers, Jimmy, Zachary and David, along with the close neighbor kids, Patrick, Sarah, and Tim Nicoles, Charlie and Amy Adelman, and some 'little ones' (at that time), the Bourdeaux and Fredericks, all romped in the street and across the unfenced lawns playing with dogs, shooting hoops, throwing frisbees, hitting baseballs. I guess our David is the oldest, now 31, and Tim Nicoles the youngest of this gang, in college. They developed strong bonds that continue into their busy adult lives. I knew of Ann and knew many of her extended family cousins from growing up in close proximity in the Sylvan area, attending old Sylvan Schools. So we just blended right into the neighborhood, over 20 years ago, and plan for this to be our last home. We love our neighborhood, our friends, and the bonds and memories forged over the decades. Even if I win the lottery, I'm not moving. So last night sharing more memories, adding the wedding to the mix, was very special indeed.

We also had the chance to visit with friends from Sylvan Grade school days, LHS days, and new friends made over the past couple years in the neighborhood and at the MAC. If that weren't special enough, there was an inspiring  classical combo at the wedding and a contemporary music group at the reception at the traditional Racquet Club at Sylvan, another throw back to my youth. The food, especially the exquisite assortment of melting and tangy cheeses put a smile in my tummy. I refrained from dragging my husband on to the dance floor but was pleased when Billy accepted my invitation to dance. That was an especially charming treat, including a drop at the finale. We were proud parents watching Billy and Zac mingle at ease and handsomely among their friends. What fine young men.

Did I say how beautiful Leslie was, how her emotions shown through the pores of her skin, the twwinkle of her eyes? And how pretty and elegant Ann looked, radiant really. Dave was a handsome figure, especially on the dance floor with Ann. As we say of our friends we are accustomed to seeing in workout or gardening clothes, you clean up real good Ann.

It was an unforgettable night that brought joy to my heart.

In yoga today, Sarah, our Kundilini instructor, talked about the benefits of an extended period of daily mediation, at least 40 days. It touched me and I decided to start today and commit my meditative energy to the health of Baby B, Pia, and David. 40 days would take us to the beginning of September, after which I will continue through the healthy birth of our precious baby. I am giving myself a small goal of 5 minutes a day to start so I won't fail off the bat! Now with my meditation room, and a community of yogini friends, I know I can do this. Of course it will be good for calming me and giving me courage and strength as well. Does anyone feel like joining me in this 40 day meditation, following your own path to move you from wherever you are at this point, with your own personal intent? I welcome anyone to join me in my home or garden as well, or the Japanese Garden, where I think I will go tomorrow. I am new to meditation and imagine much of the time I will be doing a quiet focused meditation sitting and breathing and perhaps incorporating a mantra suggested by my teachers. 

Love to all my dear dear friends and family.

Pamela

We just watched a romantic comedy with a few new twists, Shirley McLain, fun. There were a couple holiday dinner scenes that started me thinking about how I want to have a picture book holiday season this year, but then...I thought, live for the moment. When the holidays are here, enjoy the event, but for now, enjoy: sitting on the sofa watching a silly movie with Ben, Jack sprawled out in doggy dreamland; making baking powder biscuits with real butter and glutenous white flour; talking to a friend, to a sister; planning a beach escape next week, dinner tomorrow night with the boys, yoga in the morning with tea after among yogini friends. Life is good, most of the time. Enjoy, and good night.

Thursday morning and I feel pretty good. Yesterday I enjoyed yoga and chats with friends. A little retail therapy at REI filled out my size 0 summer wardrobe. Today Joanne Fong and I are picking blueberries and flowers at an organic farm on Sauvies Island.
Here is a thought that resonates strongly in me, sent from friend Linda in Albuquerque:
"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea." Isak Dinesen
How brilliant is that?

It's Tuesday already. The past few days have not been the most pleasant. My body definitely knows somethings up. The chemo infusion on Friday went reasonably well after an initial leakage in the first try that left my right arm burning for a few days. The oral medication I started Friday night followed by a steroid application left me very rattled and unhappy. By Sunday, I was not a happy camper. I soon found great relief however in stopping the steroid and taking Lorazepam for anxiety and nausea. I now have been able to sleep better and be at rest during the day. Yesterday Kellie and Leslie and Mom came for visits. Today I was delighted by a long visit from niece Kara from Tennessee and son Billy. We may join Kara and family for a couple days in Tierra del Mar next week. Tonight Ben and I met a few high school friends at Jopa for a fine meal a gathering. I am happy to be back home now in jammies getting ready for a few rows of knitting and maybe a funny show before bed. Tomorrow I hope to be back in the yoga studio for Lani's class and friends. Leslie and I plan to get apricots at the market to make some apricot preserves she is famous for. I am gradually unpacking books and projects for my meditation/creation room. It's lovely. In spurts of light energy, I go outside to pluck a few weeds and deadhead flowers. In all, it's quite lovely.
Tonight my love energy goes to David and Pia and baby B who are hanging on to the pregnancy in hospital in Denver. Please send all your love and prayers for their care. Thanks.
Much love to you all.

We have a plan. I will be starting chemotherapy tomorrow morning at Providence Cancer Center. The treatment includes a two hour infusion once every three weeks and daily doses of an oral chemical. Dr. Crocenzi researched the clinical trials in process and determined that none were appropriate for me at this time. I am just as happy staying in Portland with family and friends and my garden embracing me.

Today Jack and I slept in a bit, waking to let in the man who installed the glass shower enclosure. This bathroom is taking shape and is a gem. In this photo you can see the pretty tile and meet my dear friend and contractor Wally who has been responsible for much of the work. Later this morning, sister Kathy came for a visit. We were joined by Leslie and Wally for lunch. In all, another good day. This evening, Ben and I puttered in the garden pulling weeds and adding plants. It has been a joy sharing this love of gardening with Ben. Here are a few more shots from the garden.

I was thrilled to learn from sister Debbie that my two nieces will be arriving in Portland from Tennessee soon, Kara in two days and Moriah later this month. It will be so good to have another chance to visit with them here and maybe a couple days at the beach. I have three wonderful sons I wouldn't trade for the world. Without daughters of my own, I am blessed with nine nieces, two step nieces, and three grand nieces, each a joy in their individual ways. I  hope I get to see each of them by the summer's end.




Yesterday, 16 of us yogis shared hugs and smiles. Carolyn arrived late bearing roses from her garden.

Meet the Callas women, sisters and mother, the day we celebrated Kathy and Tom's new home.

Lastly, the iris beds in the Japanese Garden at dusk:

Still no plan from the doctor and I am becoming a little anxious to start treatment. I have phoned the doctor's office twice and hopefully we will make contact soon and come up with a plan. In the meantime, I am checking off a few of the items on my to do list and enjoying living. This week we reassembled our family photo gallery in the hallway and laid down another of the beautiful hand died and tied rugs I had purchased last winter. As you can imagine, it felt good to look at the photos and recall the life events they captured. The meditation room is assembled enough to be used and enjoyed. It feels luxurious to sit on the rich carpet surrounded by mango painted walls and simply breathe.

Sunday my sisters and mom and spouses surprised sister Kathy and Tom with a house warming party. Monday I had a long visit with friend Martha. Later I felt good enough for a nice walk with Leslie and our dogs up the hill to Council Crest Park and back to her house. (Jack loves Sophie!) Tuesday, Billy, Jack, and I drove to Scholls for blueberries and marion berries, then returned to take Jack to the dog park at Gabriel Park. Jack loves to run with the other dogs, even though he is usually the smallest dog and often intimidated by the big dogs. We have taken him also to the small dog park in Hillsboro, where we feel more comfortable letting him go. Tuesday afternoon Zac and I enjoyed sushi and a chat in the PSU neighborhood. Today, after yoga class, I had a gathering of yoga friends and teachers to unveil the meditation room, bless it with their presence, and enjoy good food and smiles on the patio surrounded by the blossoming clematis, fuschia, tradenscatia, begonia, calicarpa, geranium, abutilon, salvia, diascia, dahlia, echinacea, astilbe, hydrangea, spiraea, alstromeria.....OK I am showing off my knowledge of plant names a bit, but I am thrilled and cheered by how beautiful it all looks right now. I am grateful to Ben for pulling it all together and to the natural beauty of the plants. Mom came over for a nice visit after the brunch. I am staying busy doing the things and seeing the people I want. Looking forward to seeing more friends and family in the coming weeks.

This leads me to thinking about all that I cherish and am grateful for:
- my husband for taking such good care of me, Jack, and our home, for loving me
- my three sons for the love they have shared all their lives and continue to share
- my mother for loving me all my life
- my sisters and brother for being good friends as well as loving family
- each of my friends for continuing to share their lives and to offer help when needed
I guess it all comes down simply to loving and sharing.

Also:
- the gentle breeze on a summer night
- the sweet fragrance of flowers and the way they seem to dance in the breeze
- the dragonflies and butterflies among the flowers
- the birds singing at dawn
- the stolid comfort of big trees
- the warmth of the sun
- the salty air and sound of the waves at the beach
- the feel of alpaca yarn and nubby silk
- the taste of ripe berries and tomatoes
- the shimmer of water on a sunny day
- the waggle of a puppy's stub tail

Ben's home and we will take Jack for a stroll through the neighborhood.

Later.

Most of you know now of the results of the CT scan I had on Tuesday. Ben and Billy went to my appointment with the oncologist Wednesday morning. The scan showed a mass forming at the site of the resection, as well as two small growths in a lung. What you might not have known is that I had been experiencing more frequent and persistent, though mild, pain in my abdomen. I really became concerned when it began to awaken me in the middle of the night. It felt like intense hunger pains so I would get up and eat, feeling some relief. Because of the pain, my appetite had begun to wane a bit, and I lost the few pounds I had gained. This led to a visit with the doctor and the subsequent scan. In the same week, I experienced severe chest pain, went by  ambulance to the emergency room, and eventually ruled out heart attack. Apparently this pain, which I had had before, was esophageal spasm. It hurts like a heart attack. So the past few weeks I have been increasingly uncomfortable and anxious. Needless to say, my anxiety was not relieved by the recurrence of the cancer. I imagine we will have a treatment plan by the end of this coming week, some form of chemotherapy. 


The pain medication I have started to take is helping a lot. In fact it is strange how good I have felt the last few days. I am eating more and feel pretty energetic, probably fueled in part by anxiety and a sense that I have a lot to get done, and a lot I want to do. I am usually keeping a pretty calm, sometimes joyous, state. Thursday I worked in my rose garden in the morning for several hours, then went with Ben and Jack to the dog park. It was sooo hot! In the afternoon, my mother, and then friends visited. I talked to a variety of people, made lists of things I needed to do. Friday I went to yoga and visited with good friends after class. Then I went out to lunch with my Senders nieces, and Billy. Later Billy hung out here and then Ben joined us. It's been nice. This is how I want to spend the rest of my life. 


Today I had a learning moment, which I think some of you who know me to be competitive will find amusing, and not too surprising. This morning in yoga, my competitive spirit, and a will to be strong, kicked in as we did a rather unusual piece. The teacher had us race across the room on our stomachs on blankets pulling ourselves with our hands, as in cobra. I figured I had an edge with muscle memory from years of paddling and my light weight. And I WAS among the lead, until I hit the wall 3/4 of the way across, so to speak. I  tagged my partner and he returned across the floor and we actually finished first. Big deal right?  How crazy. Guess I have a lot yet to learn about ego; need to have a little more time here to learn that, I think. I paid for this poor choice by being entirely spent, hard to get myself home and back into bed for a few hours rest. After a quiet afternoon, Ben and I went to a music concert, so wonderful and exhilarating. And now after midnight, I am still typing. The days are just not long enough. Is this another lesson I need to learn, to not try to fit so much into one day, to let it go and go to bed? OK I will. Night  night.